The best places to meet women that you might actually want to date are at clubs and organizations that you belong to, After you get to know one well enough to ask her for a face-to-face meeting, be sure that you plan the meeting during daylight hours and in a public place.

What is it exactly that makes a woman see a man as romantic? Most of the time it’s the little things that women notice. A glance, a quick touch or brush across her back. Sure, flowers are nice, but haven’t they almost become a cliché. That’s not to say women don’t like flowers because they do, but if that’s all you’ve got then it will only go so far. You have to mix it up, change your style and use your imagination to create romantic moments. Main Factor in creating romantic moments is to put the lady’s likes ahead of your own.

If you are hoping to be successful in the world of seduction, you’re going to have to know how to be sensitive. When a woman looks at a man, from her unique perspective, one of the key things she sees is how sensitive you are. It can truly be a pass or fail characteristic. If the lady in your life doesn’t see a sensitive side, she’s going to be put off. Personality counts for so much, especially if you’re hoping to go further with a relationship.

The true key to seducing a woman isn’t a mere laundry list to check off, step by step. It’s more a guidebook on the path you must follow to completely seduce a woman, mind, body and soul. And believe it or not, what really gets a woman going is much simpler than you may have ever imagined.

Understanding the differences between the sexes will help give you a better foundation on which to build your knowledge of women. Once you can get inside her mind, it’s all downhill from there.

Making someone feel good about her in a date is one honorable act that will provide you with a set of favorable events that can lead to love and romance in the long run.

If you find yourself invited to her table, keep your mind on the conversation and not on getting a date with her. Most women want to know what kind of person they are going out with long before they actually go out with them. Make an effort to get to know her and give her the opportunity to get to know you before diving in for a date.

Body language always speaks first in any conversation. When you are confident your body relaxes, becomes more open, you lean in, you smile, and you become more animated. When you are tense or not at ease with yourself, you will be sitting back, crossing your legs, maybe your arms, your mouth will barely break a smile, and your eyes will be searching elsewhere in the room. Knowing this will allow you to convey confidence with your body language.

Nothing makes for a more romantic gesture than one that is made purely for the sake of romance itself. When it comes to seducing a woman if you want to make a really great impression on us then you’ll want to pull out all the stops and create a romantic date without waiting for a special occasion. Not to mention there’s no rule that says you have to wait for a certain day or time.

Many of these suggestions would take relatively little time for preparation. Remember, it’s sometimes the smallest gesture that will really make a woman feel special. The first romantic setting is a candlelit picnic in a park or other quiet location. This is sure to make your lady feel special. There’s no special occasion needed. This is also easy to put together with a bottle of wine, some cheese, strawberries, whatever the two of you like.

If all else fails; join a good online dating service. You will meet a lot of eligible women. You can read their profiles and see pictures of them.

As long as you’ve taken care to choose what she likes it’s sure to be a huge hit!

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First dates can be pretty nerve racking for some people. With all the dating and relationship tips for woman out there, most women are not sure what to do, say or even how to act. I know how overwhelming it can be, so here are three tips you should follow so you can stop worrying and enjoy the date.

With a hot season ahead what better time to look for a new love? If you’re single there are many ways to use the summer to boost your dating life. Summer is a great time to get outdoors and sports activities can be a good way to meet new people.

A run along the beach or a long cycle ride is a good way to boost your confidence and therefore make you more attractive to potential lovers. You could join an organized sports group and start exercising with others. Or simply go for a swim before work to set you up for the day and walk short distances instead of taking the car.

When you first start dating someone, someone you really like, it’s like a whirlwind of emotions. When you find that right person, you are overcome with attraction and infatuation. You can’t wait to see that person, to be around that person. Before long, you two are in a relationship. However, too often, with time, that initial rush of feelings fades and you soon find yourself stuck in a relationship rut.

Most people start dating in their teens, usually when they first enter high school. You might have been noticing the opposite sex for a while now, but it isn’t until high school that dating and advice for teens really starts to get thrown around as real options. If you are just starting to get into the dating world, read below for some dating and advice from someone who’s been there.

If there is any species that has zero control of love, it is the male species of the human family. It is the most affected by the spirit of endearment and the passion of adoration more than the female one. However it is all correlated, for its females who make men weaklings in the art of love, dating and overall romantic matters.

Dating and sex are intimately related; you can’t separate the two. When two young people meet the spark of sex is bound to flow. You have to accept the fact that you just can’t ignore sex at the cost of intimacy. Healthy sexual relationship plays a vital part in the lives of people that want to stay together for the rest of their lives.

They say that there are so many things which people should learn about the feeling of love in dating relationships, or they should at least try to learn. The fact is that around the world and at now, there are some people who think that they really love, their partner. They are more than anything else ready to do anything within their powers to make the feeling stay for a while longer. The fact is that you must be able to distinguish between infatuation, love and lust.

Do you know how hard it is to come up with creative ideas for a Valentine date? Are you tired of doing the same thing over and over? A Valentine date does not have to be expensive to be special. It just takes a little creativity and planning to create a memorable event. Read on to discover 5 date ideas for Valentine’s Day that you can do at home.

How To Approach Women: Selection and Technique Tips To Maximize Your Success. How to approach women can be a very intimidating process, but follow our advice and you’ll soon be approaching women with confidence.

If you could be anything you wanted, what would it be?

Here’s a great test of someone’s imagination and sense of humor. It will also show you what motivates them. Listen carefully and you’ll be able to tell if they’re driven by money, intellect, or curiosity. It can showcase hidden ambition, creativity and spontaneity. I once had a first date where this was the only question I asked. Once we started discussing it, we couldn’t stop!

Has your heart ever been broken?

Most people, if they’re being honest at least, will answer “Yes”. Depending on how long ago, their answer may be accompanied by pained sighs and haunted eyes. If the heartbreak was recent, be warned; you don’t want to end up being rebound guy/gal if you’re really looking for something more serious. The more defensive a person is, the more likely they are to answer “No”, as if having their heart broken is something unacceptable that shouldn’t even be discussed in polite company.

What do you like to do for fun?

If you’re the outdoorsy type, chances are you’re not going to hit it off with someone whose idea of a good time is Saturday afternoon cartoons. Likewise if you like to cuddle in front of the fire on a cold snowy winter afternoon and he/she prefers to hit the slopes, you might not have as much in common as you’d like.

What’s the most interesting place you’ve ever visited?

A great question to figure out if you’re sitting across from a confident world traveler who likes an adventure or if you’ve just met a more cautious type who prefers to stay close to home. Keep in mind though that travelling can be expensive and not everyone can afford to go wherever they want, whenever they want.l

What do you think is the biggest mistake people make on a first date?

If you’re looking for some insight from the opposite sex, then ask this question. If the person you’ve asked has had a lot of dating experience, some of the stories you’ll hear will probably have you cringing in shared embarrassment, howling with laughter and maybe even both. Of course they could also answer “asking stupid questions” in which case you should simply pay for your coffee and leave; they obviously have no sense of humor at all!

What do you think is the biggest mistake that people make in a relationship?

The answer to this should be a little more in depth than the previous question, for obvious reasons! It should give you a very good idea of your date’s views on gender issues, turnons and turnoffs.

Have you ever gone out with a guy/gal who was a real challenge?

If the answer to this one is “Yes” find out why he/she thought this person was a challenge and more importantly, how he/she handled it.

What’s the one thing you just can’t resist?

This is the question to ask to find out what someone really REALLY enjoys. The answer might surprise, delight or even annoy you, but that’s the chance you take. Besides, first dates are all about finding out about someone.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Their answer is an excellent thermostat to their self esteem. Someone who is focused solely on the physical will likely respond with something like “I wish I was taller/shorter/fatter/thinner “; well, you get the idea. If all you hear is a litany of what they think is wrong with them, be careful. Dating someone without a shred of self confidence isn’t going to be a laugh a minute.

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Creative first dating is the art of making that second first impression. The first was your appearance, personality or perhaps humor that got you this far. Let’s see whether these 30 creative first date ideas can take you further to that date #2. Whatever you do, the goal is to make that first date memorable.

Opportunities for first date distractions are many. The focus then should be away from any potential discomfort or moments of silence. And going on a first date that spills over to a group date is good, too. If you have the urge to ask them suggestions for your first date together, try not to. It reads that you are too lazy to think of something creative yourself.

Tap into your city’s online tourist sites, city guides and newspaper entertainment section and also local television programs on things to do in your city. They can give you the heads up for concerts, comedy shows, poetry readings, lectures, galleries and other things happening.

Men, know this: Unless a woman already knows you, going to places that are not so public might be uncomfortable for her on your first date. So plan wisely.

1. Travel for that drink. Go for a drive in the country and stop in a quiet nearby town for tea or coffee. Visit a specialty tea shop or vintage coffee place.

2. Go to the Humane Society or a petting zoo. Volunteer as caregivers for the day. Set it up ahead of time with the organization.

3. Enroll in a one day photography class. Learn about taking photos on an outdoor tour at the zoo, historical sites, or park. Indoor demonstrations like how to photograph jewelry, bowl of fruit and flowers.

4. Experience nude painting/drawing or a ceramic class. Try art schools and community centers that offer creative drawing/ceramic classes. Share your experience with each other. Plus, you can take home/give away your masterpieces to each other.

5. Visit a joke shop or executive toy store. You’d be surprised how many hours looking, trying and laughing at what the shop can offer to talk about.

6. Take a yoga class together, especially Hot or Bikram Yoga. Feel relaxed and de-stressed afterwards. Go to a juice bar to replenish your liquids before a small meal to follow.

7. Sing karaoke. It is real bonding experience acting silly. The two of you can go up on the stage, sing alongside each other after choosing what song from the 80’s you’d like to sing.

8. Anyone for speed? There are race tracks with trial lap runs permitted. See if this intrigues him. Otherwise go go-carting. And if that still doesn’t do if for him, perhaps a sports bar where you can race on the simulated motorcycles before trying their virtual games. You can always try the horse or dog racing venues.

9. Visit a library or bookstore (new or second hand). Book browsing can give you insights into his intellect but also find out what book you can purchase for him as a surprise before leaving the store.

10. Go to a chocolate factory and take a tour of their operations. I did this once. My date bought me a box of chocolates that was put together after watching how the chocolate factory operated.

11. Dine-in. But hire a chef who brings in all the food and teaches you both how to cook real French or Italian cuisine.

12. Dine out with flare. Pick a place where you have to eat with your hands like Moroccan or Nigerian style. They bring the food to your table but it is shared experience: same bowls, plates and eat with your fingers. It can be very erotic, as well.

13. Make jewelry. I know for you men it might not be so great but think about it. Bring her to a beading place, for example. Get some instructions and then hunt together for those beads, chains and pendants for making your original pieces together. Give yours as a gift to her afterwards.

14. Watch his/her favorite team practice for an upcoming game. Find out when and where are there viewing times where their favorite national team might be practicing their football, baseball, or hockey.

15. Music Store visits. Love to know what stimulates their senses and what might be a good gift for them at some later point, go browse and share the experience while visiting together a few music stores around town. And go to vintage records or LP stores for fun.

16. Video store visits. Classic and modern. It is a fun way to talk about movies, favorite scenes, lines, actors not to mention story lines and whether you cried or not.

17. Farmer’s market/ trading posts/flea markets/antique browsing. Any place that feels like shopping without visiting a real mall is cool. You can talk about the items and get a good conversation going.

18. Pick a location on a map and explore. Without looking have your date point their finger on a map of your city or even larger (district, county, state or province) and explore that area together without even knowing what you’d find there.

19. Do fun sports: book time at a batting cage, a golf range, horses for mountain riding, a pool table at a serious pool hall, or the mountain climbing wall at the local recreation centre.

20. Play paintball, laser tag, darts or go on an ATV (all terrain vehicles) riding tour. Whether you are on a first date alone or meeting up with friends, doing activities like these are so much fun.

21. Dance. Baby. Dance. Register for a private or group class for belly dancing, two-step, the tango or hip-hop.

22. Experience a sweat lodge. It’s not for the faint of heart though you can get that sweaty spiritual experience. You would have to take a trip/drive outside of the city.

23. Shop for furniture. Learn about each other’s tastes, interior decorating style and your date’s dreams about how he/she would love to live.

24. Visit show homes. It is a fun way to window shop while learning about each other dreams and tastes while not paying for anything.

25. Shop for a new car. Not really. Just go to car lot and then test drive a few. Car lots are perfect ways to have casual conversations away from the first date nerves and awkward silence moments while learning about cars.

26. Midnight dating. No booty call. It’s star gazing. Get a book and look and the night sky. Is there a Jacuzzi in close proximity?

27. Spin music. Find a recording studio, DJ or schools for spinning records. Keep your recording as your first date souvenir.

28. Visit a playground. Swing, teeter totter or go to the kid’s water park. Be a kid again.

29. Go on a hot air balloon ride. Definitely memorable proving there is no fear of heights on anyone’s part. Then again, you can offer a secure cuddle while being up in the air.

30. Go on a haunting tour: old churches, houses, historic sites, graveyards and other “ghostly” places. Be a good tour guide. Research and show off your brains.

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Seriously, you’ve seen them: loads of articles and quizzes, picking apart your style and configuration of repose to tell you if he’s happy or mad or in love or cheating or disinterested or your soul mate.

Why hasn’t it occurred to me before now to question the validity of this way of thinking? I guess it’s just one of those things that you hear so often, and from such an early age, you don’t realize it might all be glossy magazine fluff. Now, I’m not saying for sure that it is. There might be some points of truth to all this sleeping nonsense.

But come on…if the guy I’m sharing a bed with is keeping me rolling in orgasms and doing a minimal amount of night-farting, I can’t seem to find the practical side of analyzing the angle of his foot in relation to the distance of my knee from his shoulder, or whatever it is I’m supposed to be looking for.

In my experience, there are some slightly more general bed red flags to look out for. With that, and at the risk of being one of those silly articles I just bashed, let’s go over a few sleeping position pointers to worry about…and some to completely ignore.

Good news first

When your life isn’t a cinematic romantic drama, not all of the men you encounter, even the ones who really think you’re the cat’s meow, are going to be hardcore cuddlers. And for that matter, neither will all the women you meet. Some people just can’t fall asleep when their parts and your parts and all up in each other’s way.

So if you start dating someone and you think they’re super mushy in the heart space for you, but after you get down and dirty, they move away to go to sleep, try not to worry too much about it. As long as they are still attentive, interested and affectionate after doing the deed, they probably aren’t repulsed by the idea of snuggling, nor were they just using you for sex: odds are, they just aren’t close sleepers.

Even if your relationship starts with a cozy nocturnal routine and has slowly become less so, it’s possible that the same rules I just mentioned still apply. Some people, in the beginning of seeing someone they dig, do what I call “faking the cuddle”. They pretend to love passing out as the big spoon to your little spoon but as soon as they feel like they’ve got you hooked, they start sleeping how they actually want to.

If this is happening, I say just ask them about it. By this point of being together, you should be able to just casually ask them if anything is up. Be sure to let your sweetie know that if they’re just more comfy disentangled, that’s fine with you.

And the bad news…

It’s the people who do just cuddle only out of comfort who you have to worry about. I would rather someone I’m dating not be snuggled up when he’s mad than to get cozy just out of physical comfort.

How do you know if you’re being used as a body pillow? If your significant other pulls you in close for sleeping but you’ve just had a big unresolved tiff (I don’t recommend going to bed angry, but ya know, it happens), it’s possible that he’s not trying to make it all better. He might just be trying to go to sleep.

You’ll be able to tell the difference if you pay attention to the subtleties of the cuddle…look for little peace offerings like nuzzles, kisses and tender touches. Those are the things of sweet togetherness. Cold physical closeness followed by unconsciousness in your partner could signify that he’s there with you but not really there with you.

Bottom line: pay more attention to things that happen during your waking hours than you do trying to decipher nocturnal behavior. It’s just common sense. And, like with most relationship conundrums, when in doubt, talk about it.

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1. Sexy clothes.

Brooke Burke, one of USA’s hottest female exports on calendars, often looks more suggestive in her clothes than her bikini. More can be sexier than less. Give your lover something that’s suggestive to you and can be peeled off slowly. Peek-a-boo blouses, stripper boots, anything with a 3-inch heel or more, fishnet stockings, a high slit on a long cocktail dress or long haired wigs that your idle fingers can run through.

Clothes that have zippers, snaps, low cut neckline and are tight, short, classy or trashy are all highly suggestive when the wearer is a size or two bigger!

And for men, some muscle hugging T-shirt or cool manly shirts with the cuffs and a few front buttons left undone can leave a woman wanting to see more.

2. Lingerie.

Try lingerie that is different in color, texture or has the remote chance of staying on her body longer. My favorite? The corset that protrudes like a dinner tray—with my breasts ready for his play. Wear panties that come with an open crotch; saves having to take ‘em off!

3. Sexual IOUs.

Deliver it via courier to his place of work or send it to him via regular mail at his home. You just need one simple note without a return address or your name: “I Owe You: Two blow jobs just because”. Then on Valentine’s Day redeem them.

4. Sexual Shots.

Give him a photo shot of you in your sexy bottoms a la thongsandmoreonline.com and a note that says, “Open for YOUR business.” Even if you eventually break up, your ass is the only thing that can be downloadable.

5. Sexual Tease.

Ahead of Valentine’s Day, take a crash course in how to strip for your lover—and do it hot! Pole dancing might be hard without that pole at his or your house. But stripping and planting some heavy lap dances on him can turn his dick into one!

6. Sexual Voyeurs.

Become one for Valentine’s and for your Valentine. Go to places like stripper bars, view pornographic films, or swinger clubs and organizations that celebrate V-day in a new way. A note of caution here; determine beforehand that your partner would be agreeable to this. If they’re not, drop it.

7. Become a Porn Star.

Make a film with you alone, with your lover or with others for Valentine’s Day. The copy stays where? This requires a great deal of trust between both partners and/or the people involved in the making or being in the film with you. And if the trust’s not there, yell “Cut!”.

8. Valentine Sexual Shots.

Go to a professional who specializes in setting up and shooting professional nude photos of you, you and your lover or you and someone else they want to see you with like another female, male or both. Make your own calendar spread.

9. New boy or girl toy.

Who doesn’t love a new plaything? Visit a specialty shop or attend a passion party.

10. New booty Calls.

Try her/his favorite “I-want-to-do-it-where-we-can-get-caught” adventure. Becoming the next member of the Mile High Club might prove difficult given the new airline security measures. Explode you imagination. Schedule a lunchtime booty call. Try it in a hotel elevator, a change room at a lingerie store, or in a canoe. Apparently, true Canadians are sexual masters in the canoe.

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You get to focus on other aspects of the relationship

If you take sex out of the equation, you have to find other ways to fill your time together. It might not seem like naughty nuzzling is taking up the bulk of your couple time, but even if that’s not the case (and sometimes it is), it’s still surprisingly easy to get so buzzed from the physical chemistry the two of you share that everything in between romps is just that, something to do in between. If you stop making physical things the, um, climax of your days together, you might find you get more excited about the other ways you’re connecting.

Masturbation.

It’s like a little birthday present to yourself, whenever you want it. If you go through a deliberate period of not engaging in sexy times with a partner, it doesn’t mean you have to go without. I mean, if you decided to stop eating out so much, you wouldn’t just stop eating, right? Hell, no. You would cook at home more. And with practice, you can get really, really good at…ahem, cooking. And it’ll help you know more specifically what you want next time you go out to dinner.

If you’re dating someone during this carnal diet, chances are (if this isn’t true, you might want to reconsider your romantic involvement with this person) that after enough time, you want to jump each other so bad that everything you do together will seem like foreplay. And once you finally get going with the dirty dirty, the time you spent not doing it will make it all the more exciting when you do.

A break from certain stress.

Sex is fun. It’s like the most fun ever in my book. But there’s no denying that along with the pleasure comes the pain; the pain of dealing with birth control, making sure you’re having the safest sex possible and all the millions of questions that we crazy humans can’t help but to get neurotic about once we start sleeping with someone. I don’t know why it seems like relationships hover in the not-freaking-out, not-feeling-jealous, extra anticipatory phase until the point of coitus. I’m not saying your body and love life fall apart with the introduction of sex (I would never suggest that), but it is true that waiting for the introduction makes for fewer things to worry about.

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Granted, we could interview every dude on the street and there would still be no predicting that Mr. Seems-Great-Online will hate your strappy red shoes and never call you again. Shrug. People are weird.

But in a continued effort to offset some of the man-mines waiting to blow up your illusions of romance, I’ve picked the brains of 4 fine young men to find out what little annoying things we gals do that drive them crazy…and not in the good way:

Name:

Nick

Answer:

“Picky eating. If I meet a girl and I’m trying to assess whether or not I’d want to date her, and I find out she has crazy eating restrictions (or even that she’s a vegetarian), she loses points. I know that’s not very fair, but it’s true. I like girls I can just eat whatever with and not have to spend tons of time thinking about whether it’s non-dairy, vegan-friendly, organic whatever.”

Name:

Jesse

Answer:

“Lying about little things. I just don’t get it and so many girls seem to do it. If I catch you lying about something stupid, like, say, you were getting your nails done and you told me you were studying…what the hell? Why would I care if you were getting your nails done? What I do care about is your level of honesty. If you would lie about something small to avoid me getting even a little, temporarily annoyed, then you would definitely lie about the big, important things. No trust is a no-go.”

Name:

Kevin

Answer:

“Clean freaks. I mean, it’s okay if you want to keep things tidy but if we’re eating takeout and watching a movie, don’t immediately jump up and clean everything up when we’re done eating. Just sit back and enjoy our time together…better things might happen. Also, if a girl is super clean freak about herself, like, she never wants to get dirty…that’s lame. I like girls I can go to a park and throw a Frisbee and run around and go hiking with without her being bothered by her hands getting dirty.”

Name:

Johnny

Answer:

“Telling their friends everything! I once dated a girl and the minute I told her I loved her for the first time, she immediately squealed and picked up her phone to call her best friend. She said her friends had been placing bets on how long it was going to take me to finally say it…it had only been two months of dating, anyways! But I was just really uncomfortable with her friends knowing all these details of our relationship…and especially upset that her gossip with them was more important to her than enjoying that moment with me. It kinda made me rethink wanting to tell her I loved her at all, to be honest.”

When it comes to being in a relationship, it usually only takes a couple things to keep most men happy. Here’s an approximate list:

• She has sex with you (and only you) regularly and without you having to beg for it.
• She acts as if she actually likes you both publicly and in private.
• She’s nice and sweet to you.
• She shows some understanding of and appreciation for the efforts and sacrifices you make on her behalf.

Most guys would be absolutely delighted if they could get that much out of a relationship.

Understanding women in
relationships isn’t quite
life on the beach

Do women realize this? Sure they do. Ask any woman what men need in a relationship and the chances are good that she’ll create a very similar list.

They know the answer. However, they don’t like the answer. All “sweetness and harmony” quickly become boring to most women.

Don’t think so?

Tune in to any soap opera and note how often the characters are sweet and harmonious and how often they’re anything but.

“Anything but” will win hands down every time. All the intrigue, duplicity, back-stabbing and especially the fighting holds female viewers’ interest.

“… understanding the role of fighting is key to understanding women in relationships, but most men don’t …”

Understanding the role of fighting is key to understanding women in relationships, but most men don’t. Why is that?

One big reason is that women make it difficult for us to understand them. They “sell the sizzle” by pretending (to the extent that they can pull it off) to be the person we really want.

• They’ll have sex with us (to get us used to getting it regularly),
• They’ll act (at least some of the time) as if they like us, and
• They may even express appreciation now and then.

But in time, that initial “honeymoon experience” will evolve into something resembling a soap opera. In particular, the fights will start and the relationship will gradually deteriorate from that point forward.

Due to not understanding women in relationships, most guys will be both stunned and distressed when she starts the first fight with them. That’s a side of her they hadn’t seen up until that point and were hoping they would never see. And they won’t like it.

It makes no sense to men. We learn to avoid fights and we perceive fights as a bad thing.

After all, when men fight, there are often injuries. Or worse. And we’d never start a fight with someone at least half again our size. That would be suicidal.

Understanding women in
relationships including the
role of fighting

And yet women pick fights in relationships. Repeatedly. The first time, it might blow over quickly and the guy will probably attribute it to “PMS” (as that’s the least scary explanation). But the fights will continue sporadically as long as the relationship continues. And they’ll tend to get worse over time.

But understanding that progression is another key to understanding women in relationships.

And that will eventually be what breaks up the relationship (unless she doesn’t leave him first, which is the more common outcome): “fight fatigue“. She’ll wear him down to the point where he just can’t stomach another fight.

Another of the reasons understanding women in relationships is difficult is that it’s relatively straightforward to observe how women behave but impossible to know for sure why they behave that way. We can only speculate.

Why have women evolved to fight often in relationships despite the fact that most men detest having such fights? We believe women try to pinpoint exactly how their partner feels about them.

“… women have evolved to use fighting to elicit an unscripted response …”

There’s a well-known Latin phrase which says “in vino veritas”. That translates to “in wine there is truth”, meaning that people are likely to become uninhibited and then “speak the truth” (i.e. say what they’re really thinking or feeling) after several alcoholic drinks.

We believe that women have evolved to use fighting the same way (i.e. to elicit an unscripted response).

Women realize that men lie a lot in relationships. We’d be idiots not to in many instances. After all, if she asks you “Does this dress make me look fat?” (and it does), are you going to be truthful? Not if you’re smart. Why start a fight?

Men evolved such that the direction of others’ feelings toward us is the most important dimension. So we’ve become conflict avoiders by nature. If someone feels negatively toward us, that could mean (depending on gender) getting a beating or not getting laid. And those are both bad outcomes.

Understanding women in
relationships including why
arguments happen

But women operate differently. They don’t have to worry as much about getting a beating (as the law will be on their side) or about whether anyone would be willing to have sex with them. And therefore, the direction of others’ feelings toward them often seems to be less important to women than the intensity of those feelings.

So angrily calling her every bad name in the book after she dumps you will be music to her ears. To her, love and hate will be two sides of the same coin: either emotion says that she matters to you. And the more vehement your tirade, the more she must matter to you. The reaction that would disappoint her is indifference, as that would signal that she doesn’t matter.

Amazingly enough, there is…

An underlying logic to understanding
women in relationships

So let’s relate that dynamic to fighting in a relationship. If she asks you if you still love her, you’ll say “Of course!”, regardless of whether your feelings are beginning to wane. She won’t know whether you really mean it or whether you’re just saying it to avoid a fight.

“… it’s the second best sex they’ve got (after “revenge sex”) and few men will turn it down …”

So instead, she’ll provoke you. She may flirt blatantly with another guy if you’re at a party or she may just start picking on some real or imagined wrong she thinks you’ve committed. Either way, she’s looking for a strong reaction (you losing your temper) and, unless you have a good grasp of understanding women in relationships, you’ll give her one.

If you go over to the guy she’s flirting with and angrily tell him to back off, that will tell her that you do still care about her. But if you just smile, shrug it off, and return to talking to whomever you were talking, then she’ll worry. You’re supposed to go ballistic. And if you don’t, that shows her that you’ve disengaged emotionally.

Understanding women in relationships
including fighting after-effects

But aren’t women concerned about going too far whenever they test us like this? Not really. They have the antidote: “makeup sex”. It’s the second best sex they’ve got (after “revenge sex”) and few men will turn it down.

If you’d like to learn more about understanding women in relationships or are looking for advice on other aspects of your relationships, you’ll find the rest of the articles in this section to be extremely helpful.

Start with some basics on the most powerful word in relationships as well as why she needs her space.

Understand the perils of addictive relationships and controlling relationships as well as why lying, cheating and trust in relationships might not have the importance you think they do.

We also offer our views on rebound relationships, age gap relationships and platonic relationships (one’s worthwhile to you, another isn’t, and one normally isn’t worth fretting about).

And learn the difference between casual relationships (really great if you have the skills to pull them off!) and short term relationships (dangerous if you don’t think ahead) …

And no take on understanding women in relationships would be complete without an insight into passive-aggressive relationships, why relationships fail and when they can no longer be repaired.

How to talk to women when
you want them to listen

• Calmness
• Confidence
• Focus
• Intelligence
• Humor
• Decisiveness

One of the most common errors made by guys who don’t know how to talk to women is to be tense and to show it. That’s a mood-killer for a woman because it signals that you’re afraid of her, and she can’t get excited about a guy who’s afraid of her.

How do guys show that tension? By going to extremes. They’ll either:

• Sit up ramrod straight and say little or nothing to her (the “deer in the headlights” effect); or
• Talk mostly nonstop to avoid any awkward periods of silence

Therefore, the first of our verbal seduction tips is to…

Aim for a more happy medium

Breathe normally, relax, treat it like a game and enjoy the experience.

A related seduction error made by guys who don’t know how to talk to women is to display a lack of confidence in themselves. Confidence is a derivative measure of how well your life has been going, and so women are attracted to confident men.

“… women are unusually skilled at spotting when a man is pretending to listen …”

It takes a lot of practice to exude confidence effortlessly. But most guys who don’t know how to talk to women could easily improve their “game” by eliminating counter-productive behavior.

Therefore, the second of our verbal seduction tips is to avoid the following tactics when attempting to seduce a woman:

• Boasting
• Putting yourself down
• Blaming others for your problems

Successful people generally don’t boast much. They let their PR department do that for them, as boasting is rarely credible in the first person. They don’t put themselves down, either. And they don’t (except when at risk of litigation) blame others for their problems.

By not grumbling about how you got shafted by your jerk-of-a-boss, how your last girlfriend had treated you like dirt or how bad your luck always seems, you’ll seem more confident … and more desirable.

How to talk to women
after the initial seduction

Another seduction error made by guys who don’t know how to talk to women is to adopt the wrong focus. Most guys who haven’t mastered seduction are so afraid of becoming tongue-tied when they chat up a woman that they’ll listen to a few words that she says (to get the general gist of it) and then tune her out to plan what they’ll say next.

However, women are unusually skilled at spotting when a man is pretending to listen while his mind is actually somewhere else.

Because that fear of becoming tongue-tied is another marker for unsuccessful men, the third of our verbal seduction tips is to actively listen to what she’s saying and then play off that. If that means there’s a few-second pause between her finishing a comment and your responding verbally to it, that’s not a problem. To her, it will seem that you’re taking her opinions seriously.

“… being smart in the absence of some other success markers won’t get you all that far with women …”

The next item on the list is trickier, because women do value intelligence in men. After all, intelligence does correlate with success in life.

But it’s not a perfect correlation because so many other factors also play major roles in success, such as:

• Luck
• Persistence
• Confidence

As a result, you’ll meet a lot of smart people in life who aren’t rich and also quite a few rich people who may not be all that smart. So just being smart in the absence of some other success markers won’t get you all that far with women (think “nerd”).

Therefore, our fourth verbal seduction tip on how to talk to women is to avoid the temptation to impress them with your intellectual prowess. That doesn’t mean playing dumb … that’s also a bad idea. What it does mean is not showing off.

If you know pi by heart to 35 decimal places, for example, it will not impress her. It will bore her … and it will show her one more thing that you and she don’t have in common.

Don’t overuse humor

A related seduction error made by guys who don’t know how to talk to women is to overuse humor.

Having a sense of humor is an attractive quality in a man, as it shows he has a sense of perspective and is quick-minded. But successful men use humor only occasionally. As a result, frequent joking has become a marker for less successful men … it will be seen as a crutch.

Therefore, the fifth of our verbal seduction tips is to use humor sparingly. Treat it as a condiment rather than as an entree. And in particular, don’t rattle off joke after joke after joke.

You aren’t auditioning at an “open mic” night at the local comedy club, you’re auditioning to be her bed partner. Therefore, interact with her … don’t perform for her.

The last of our verbal seduction tips is one that guys who don’t know how to talk to women usually overlook: be decisive. Successful men are action-oriented … they’re doers, not just talkers or thinkers.

“… successful men are action-oriented … they’re doers, not just talkers or thinkers …”

That doesn’t mean barking orders at her like a drill sergeant. It just means making a decision when the opportunity arises. If she says “What do you want to do?”, don’t just kick the decision back to her (“Oh, I don’t know … what do you want to do?”). Suggest something!

Continue to the main Seduction page if you’re looking to learn more verbal seduction tips on how to talk to women