How To Talk To Women: Verbal Seduction Tips

You’ll need more than just a few verbal seduction tips to learn how to talk to women effectively, as that’s a complex and nuanced topic. Language itself is a complex and nuanced tool, after all. But we can offer you verbal seduction tips in the following six areas to ensure you’re pointed in the right direction:

How to talk to women when
you want them to listen

• Calmness
• Confidence
• Focus
• Intelligence
• Humor
• Decisiveness

One of the most common errors made by guys who don’t know how to talk to women is to be tense and to show it. That’s a mood-killer for a woman because it signals that you’re afraid of her, and she can’t get excited about a guy who’s afraid of her.

How do guys show that tension? By going to extremes. They’ll either:

• Sit up ramrod straight and say little or nothing to her (the “deer in the headlights” effect); or
• Talk mostly nonstop to avoid any awkward periods of silence

Therefore, the first of our verbal seduction tips is to…

Aim for a more happy medium

Breathe normally, relax, treat it like a game and enjoy the experience.

A related seduction error made by guys who don’t know how to talk to women is to display a lack of confidence in themselves. Confidence is a derivative measure of how well your life has been going, and so women are attracted to confident men.

“… women are unusually skilled at spotting when a man is pretending to listen …”

It takes a lot of practice to exude confidence effortlessly. But most guys who don’t know how to talk to women could easily improve their “game” by eliminating counter-productive behavior.

Therefore, the second of our verbal seduction tips is to avoid the following tactics when attempting to seduce a woman:

• Boasting
• Putting yourself down
• Blaming others for your problems

Successful people generally don’t boast much. They let their PR department do that for them, as boasting is rarely credible in the first person. They don’t put themselves down, either. And they don’t (except when at risk of litigation) blame others for their problems.

By not grumbling about how you got shafted by your jerk-of-a-boss, how your last girlfriend had treated you like dirt or how bad your luck always seems, you’ll seem more confident … and more desirable.

How to talk to women
after the initial seduction

Another seduction error made by guys who don’t know how to talk to women is to adopt the wrong focus. Most guys who haven’t mastered seduction are so afraid of becoming tongue-tied when they chat up a woman that they’ll listen to a few words that she says (to get the general gist of it) and then tune her out to plan what they’ll say next.

However, women are unusually skilled at spotting when a man is pretending to listen while his mind is actually somewhere else.

Because that fear of becoming tongue-tied is another marker for unsuccessful men, the third of our verbal seduction tips is to actively listen to what she’s saying and then play off that. If that means there’s a few-second pause between her finishing a comment and your responding verbally to it, that’s not a problem. To her, it will seem that you’re taking her opinions seriously.

“… being smart in the absence of some other success markers won’t get you all that far with women …”

The next item on the list is trickier, because women do value intelligence in men. After all, intelligence does correlate with success in life.

But it’s not a perfect correlation because so many other factors also play major roles in success, such as:

• Luck
• Persistence
• Confidence

As a result, you’ll meet a lot of smart people in life who aren’t rich and also quite a few rich people who may not be all that smart. So just being smart in the absence of some other success markers won’t get you all that far with women (think “nerd”).

Therefore, our fourth verbal seduction tip on how to talk to women is to avoid the temptation to impress them with your intellectual prowess. That doesn’t mean playing dumb … that’s also a bad idea. What it does mean is not showing off.

If you know pi by heart to 35 decimal places, for example, it will not impress her. It will bore her … and it will show her one more thing that you and she don’t have in common.

Don’t overuse humor

A related seduction error made by guys who don’t know how to talk to women is to overuse humor.

Having a sense of humor is an attractive quality in a man, as it shows he has a sense of perspective and is quick-minded. But successful men use humor only occasionally. As a result, frequent joking has become a marker for less successful men … it will be seen as a crutch.

Therefore, the fifth of our verbal seduction tips is to use humor sparingly. Treat it as a condiment rather than as an entree. And in particular, don’t rattle off joke after joke after joke.

You aren’t auditioning at an “open mic” night at the local comedy club, you’re auditioning to be her bed partner. Therefore, interact with her … don’t perform for her.

The last of our verbal seduction tips is one that guys who don’t know how to talk to women usually overlook: be decisive. Successful men are action-oriented … they’re doers, not just talkers or thinkers.

“… successful men are action-oriented … they’re doers, not just talkers or thinkers …”

That doesn’t mean barking orders at her like a drill sergeant. It just means making a decision when the opportunity arises. If she says “What do you want to do?”, don’t just kick the decision back to her (“Oh, I don’t know … what do you want to do?”). Suggest something!

Continue to the main Seduction page if you’re looking to learn more verbal seduction tips on how to talk to women